Common Sayings

Have you ever heard the saying "A doubting Thomas"? I'm pretty sure almost everyone has at one point in time. It is just one of those American idioms that everyone knows. Now, I have just one question: What do Thomas's think of that saying?! I mean, does that saying give them a complex? Do they think that because their name is Thomas they have to doubt everything they hear? I can hear Thomas's everywhere now:

Random Person: Hey what did you think of that movie we just saw?
Thomas: I don't know. I'm doubting.

Honestly, these poor individuals don't stand a chance, and how about the saying "A New York minute"? What makes New York minutes any better than, lets say, Chicago minutes? Are Chicago minutes somehow inferior to New York minutes? Jeez, talk about a superiority complex.

I was also told recently "Close but no cigar". I don't like cigars. I don't want a cigar. If I had gotten the answer right, would they have forced me to take a cigar?! Then I'm glad I answered wrongly, thank you very much.

Then there is the saying "Who let the cat out of the bag"? In that case, I have another question for you: Who put the cat in the bag? Just what was that cat doing in that bag, and does the local SPCA know about this? Somebody alert PETA because people are walking around with bags full of cats! That can't be ethical.

Someone asked me the other day if I wanted "A cup of Joe". No I do not, and exactly what part of Joe is in that cup? Did Joe consent to this, or should I be calling the police? Don't even think about telling me to "to hold my horses" because I have no horses to hold. So good day.

~If there is any specific topic you would like me to write about, send me an e-mail at BriarBlack@hotmail.com~